


Knowing your love

by Viktor_OnInk (Magik_Lester)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blind AU, Blind Character, Blind!Yuuri, Blindness, Demisexual Katsuki Yuuri, Fluff, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-16 02:27:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9269576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magik_Lester/pseuds/Viktor_OnInk
Summary: Yuuri Katsuki had not always been blind. There was a time when he could see the grass, the trees, the food he ate, his mother's face as she tucked him in at night and sung him a little song before he closed his eyes and went to sleep. He was in awe with the beauty of the world and when his sight was taken away from him, it was the cruellest of fates for the young boy.AU where Yuuri is blind and Viktor is damn near enamoured of Yuuri.





	1. ichi

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, quick note at the beginning to say that this is an AU that I have recently become obsessed with. I was inspired by this art work: http://cookiecreation.tumblr.com/post/154200510610/i-feel-like-the-value-of-this-comic-depreciates (I will say though that this may be a spoiler for where the direction of this fanfiction is going.)
> 
> Trigger Warning: mentions of blood and injuries.
> 
> Also, while this is an alternate universe, I am also going to include a lot of events and such that do happen in the anime.
> 
> Please leave comments giving me any suggestions/constructive criticism and/or any mistakes I have made, it will really help me and will keep me motivated to keep going.
> 
> My tumblr: http://makjikmalec.tumblr.com/
> 
> xx  
> Enjoy! xx

Yuuri Katsuki had not always been blind. There was a time when he could see the grass, the trees, the food he ate, his mother's face as she tucked him in at night and sung him a little song before he closed his eyes and went to sleep. He was in awe with the beauty of the world and when his sight was taken away from him, it was the cruellest of fates for the young boy.

While the memories of the day were painful to think about, he remembers it near perfectly. The smell of burning rubber still cemented into his brain and if Yuuri thinks hard enough he can still see the little black bird that was watching the scene unfold, perched on top of a lamppost not far from the carnage. 

The impact was brief but the damage - not so much. It took a while before an ambulance came. At least to Yuuri, blood oozing out of his head, a broken arm and slipping in and out of being unconscious the wait was a century. 

It was hard adjusting to life after that. At the age of 9, and deprived of sight Yuuri found it beyond difficult to adjust back into his everyday life. Weeks of tears, doctors’ appointments, and a new world of black left the young Japanese boy to slowly develop and fit back into society.

It wasn't long before his mother found out how lonely his was. His peers at school never bothered to make friends with him and it left Yuuri alone and sad. Three months after the accident his parents took him and his sister ice skating for the first time and despite not being able see what he was doing, the feel of his blades on the ice was the closest thing to normal he had experienced in a while. It felt right and safe and being in the rink gave him his first real friend and would continue to give him so many amazing memories to block out the bad.

His parents were hesitant of Yuuri's new found love of the ice at first and it took a lot of persuading before he could have lessons. It was thanks to Yuuko Nishigori in the end that nearly every day the smallest Katsuki boy was heading over to Ice Castle Hasetsu to train, learn and have fun. 

It was within the first few weeks of being there that he heard Viktor Nikiforov's name for the first time and with the nearly obsessive newfound dream of becoming an international ice skating champion just like Viktor, he named his first guide dog after him. Yuuri just wished that one day he would be able to not only meet; but see the famous figure skater. 

Learning to ice skate should have been ten times harder for someone in Yuuri's condition than it was. You would think that not being able to see examples and performances of jumps, spins, skating routines, and intricate foot work would be hard but Yuuko was an excellent explainer. When Yuuri moved over to Detroit he was blessed with a coach and a dancing instructor who fortunately were both incredibly talented in the art of explanation. 

The move to Detroit was hard on the growing Japanese skater, not only for the reasons of having to inevitably leave your family behind, or because he was not able to take his guide dog with him, but it was mainly because with Yuuri being blind it meant his whole family had to adapt in ways that would not have been guaranteed to have been taken into consideration by the people in Detroit that offered him his place there. At home objects around the house had to stay in certain places so Yuuri could learn where they were and the risks of him tripping up, falling over, or walking into things would then be reduced. He had to count the steps it took him to go anywhere and learn where little dips in the ground where on routes he frequently took so that he would be surprised or hindered in anyway while walking. Being in a new place meant that he would have to learn nearly a whole new way of living and his mother stayed for a while before going back home to Japan.

The black-haired boy quickly made friends with his Thai roommate and fellow figure skater Phichit Chulanont. The two of them learning and growing as people from the influence of each other could freely say that they were each other’s best friend. At in the years of being in Detroit, exploring his own identity, feelings, and personality, the two male skaters always had the other to talk to about anything they wanted. And Yuuri was lucky to have a friend like Phichit who was there for him when his skating career sky-rocketed after being named Japan’s first blind Junior Skating Champion. It was safe to say that the attention the Japanese figure skater received was overwhelming for him to say the least.

Just living in Detroit got easier as time went on, he missed his dog and family greatly and not having the comfort of his own bed that was all the way at home in Japan did leave Yuuri quite sad and homesick many a time, but being with Phichit, Celestino and Minako was a decent enough substitute for him to want to continue in the pursuit of his dream. Everything was going right for Yuuri. Yes, he wished that one day he would wake up to colour and vision again but he didn’t complain. He knew that he was lucky to be in the position he was. A career that didn’t seem to be going anywhere downhill anytime soon and people he loved surrounding him with love and support. It was honestly more than anything he could have asked for.


	2. ni

The plane home took longer than Yuuri hoped it would. He wasn’t sure how he would talk to his parents after the performance he gave at the Grand Prix Final and being devastated by the news of Vicchan left the poor 23-year-old to his own thoughts. It was in times like these where not being able to see was exhausting, without the distraction of seeing what was going on out of the window by the side of him meant that all he could do was continue to worry and play the phone call he had with his mother over, and over again until the plane touched down and it was embedded deep into his brain and he could recite it like a script.

No matter how many times he washed his face, it didn’t matter. He could still feel the tracks on his cheeks where warm tears had run and stained his skin. Phichit had tried to convince him to go back to Detroit for a while after the banquet but Yuuri knew that he wouldn’t be able to rest again unless he went back to Hasetsu and pay his respects to his beloved pet. Regretting not spending more time with the poodle, Yuuri took his cane in hand, folded it out and stepped off the plane. 

“Yuuri!” A familiar sound met his ears and Yuuri couldn’t help but smile slightly. Soon, a body was enveloping his own in a warm hug.

“Hello Minako.” Hugging back, he could feel his friend tighten her hold on him slightly before letting go completely and hooking an arm around his.

“Let us get you home then.” 

Minako didn’t talk that much for a while. They picked up his luggage and left the building. It was in the taxi when she spoke again and it was only to give the driver directions.

~X~

“You’re all packed now?” Curiosity and sadness laced Phichit’s voice, and as Yuuri turned around towards it, he nodded slowing knowing that Phichit would be looking. “Well, I don’t want you to go. Not with the hangover you have. If I can’t persuade you to come back to Detroit at least stay here for another week… please?” 

“I need to go home Phichit.” Yuuri picked up his suitcase off his bed and placed it upright on the floor. “It’s just a headache anyway, I can deal with it. You can come with me to the airport if you want to.” The floor boards creaked as the Thai skater walked towards his friend, taking the handle of the suitcase in one hand and wrapped an arm around the other skaters’ before sighing slightly.

“Fine.” 

At the airport, his best friend had cried. Phichit tried to deny it when Yuuri asked but he knew better. The younger boy was never that good at lying. The 23-year-old promised to call, and with a hug they parted ways. It was different and strange at that moment to Yuuri, he couldn’t help feel like this was some kind of goodbye. 

~X~

The taxi pulled up to his family’s home and Minako tapped Yuuri on the shoulder informing him that they had arrived. Stepping out of the car, he was hit by a sudden wave of realisation that living away from home for five years meant that he could not quite remember the number of steps it took before he would be at the front door. Or whether he was facing the right direction. It had been a long time since he had felt this uncertain about the most basic of things and Yuuri did not welcome this feeling at all.

Minako in that moment must have sensed his distress and before he knew, the sound of his luggage drew closer and the sweet perfume of the dancer attacked his nose again. A hand rested gently on his. 

“It’s okay.” They went home. 

His mother gave him the biggest of hugs with the whisperings of how she was so very happy her son was back. None of them talked about the Grand Prix Final or Vicchan. There wasn’t much talk at all and while he knew his family wouldn’t be mad or angry or disappointed with him, there was this bubbling feeling of dread starting to settle in his stomach and make a home there.

His parents made his favourite for dinner, allowing him to relax just a little. It was nice to be home, surrounded by sounds and smells that he had missed and didn’t ever gain back while he trained in America. Despite the place growing on him, it was never quite right. There was always that tune, whistled softly by his father as he worked, that was missing. The scent of cigarette smoke filling the room when his sister entered and the soft, loving touches of his mothers’ hugs that Yuuri did not think he would have loved as much as he did when he could finally experience it all again.

It was the next day, after a decent night sleep and a full stomach from breakfast when Yuuri sought out his mother and told her that he had thought about quitting ice skating. He wasn’t too sure how he imaged his mother to react, or even how he would have wanted her to react. There was quiet and not much movement from the woman but Yuuri then felt her warm hands on his arms.

“You cannot let one performance dictate the rest of your life. I know you’re hurting and scared but skating is something that has made you unbelievable happy when I was worried you could be happy ever again.” His mother pulled him into a hug and kissed his cheek, “I’ll support you, but I think you need to think about this for a little longer.” 

There was a miniscule part of Yuuri that was disappointed by what his mother had said. However, he did know that she had only told him what she had because she cared about him. There was a lot of time spent on his own in the week that passed. A majority was spent on him feeling that whatever he did next in his skating career was never going to be good enough. While he partly knew that this wasn’t true, he still could not shake this voice in the back of his mind telling his that he had failed, not only himself, but his family and Japan. The rest of his time was spent attempting to help with his family business but it always ended with him curled up on the couch, thinking back to the Grand Prix Final and finishing dead last.

Yuuko had come to visit him a couple of times in that week, trying to get him to go to Ice Castle Hasetsu with her. After the excuses of him saying that he just wanted to be familiarised with his own home before venturing out again, he eventually agreed. 

Being in the ice rink with Yuuko again after such a long time was refreshing to the blind skater. He couldn’t tell how long he was there with her for but sooner then he would have liked, Yuuko was dragging him off the ice, telling him that she would walk him back home. 

“I’m glad you joined me today Yuuri, I was starting to worry you wouldn’t come back!” There was a slight laugh with the female’s words, almost nervous and it made Yuuri feel guilty, an emotion he was becoming more, and more familiar with recently.

“I don’t think I could ever stay away from skating for too long. I didn’t mean to make you worried Yuuko.”

The walk back home was longer then the journey to Ice Castle Hasetsu. The two friends basking in the welcomed chilly night air as they talked in small voices to each other. Yuuko said goodnight to him at his front door and when he closed off the outside world behind him, Yuuri took off his shoes and coat.

He could hear talking in the kitchen and once he put everything away, he went towards it. There was a voice there that he didn’t quite recognise and a small bout of anxiety shot through him. Talking a moment to calm down, Yuuri continued his way to the kitchen. 

“Yuuri, you’re back!” His mothers’ voice was brighter than normal. It wasn’t that Hiroko Katsuki was a sad woman, it was entirely the contrary, but her son was a little suspicious by the how happy she sounded. 

There was a scraping of a chair on hard floor and the sound of someone stepping away from the table. 

“Yuuri! I’ve come to be your coach!” A Russian accent filled Yuuri’s ears, but he didn’t have time to question what was going on as a dog had jumped up and started to lick the stunned boy’s face, knocking him backwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking of updating this weekly after this chapter. However, while I will try my best, please don't hold me to that.  
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter and the story so far! Thank you for the support so far, it has honestly made me very happy :)  
> As always comments, constructive criticism, and suggestions are very welcome.  
> My tumblr: http://majikmalec.tumblr.com/
> 
> Thank you for reading! xx


	3. три

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for all the support! I hope that you enjoy this chapter.  
> As always I am majikmalec on tumblr and comments are very much welcome!!
> 
> xx

It was safe to say that Viktor Nikiforov had not planned to fall for the blind Japanese Ice Skater but he did and to begin with he wasn’t sure how to cope. He had first heard of the boy when he was out at dinner with his parents and coach Yakov. They had been discussing how they would further his training as well as a bunch of other stuff which he probably should have been paying attention to, but the glass full of water directly in front of him was, in that moment, the most interesting thing in the world. Until, of course, they talked about a boy named Yuuri Katsuki and Viktor was later to understand that the boy could end up being somewhat of a threat to him. Or to what his coach and parents had believed.

There was something about the name itself that interested Viktor, he didn’t know what, or why, but after going home that night and searching him – Viktor decided to call it fate. It didn’t take long after that for the Russian skater to become invested in the other boy. Admittedly, there wasn’t much online about Yuuri when Viktor had initially found out about him and it was a while before more, and more people started to know his name but the young man was so enthralled by the sheer talent that radiated off the even younger ice skater that eventually, Viktor knew every single routine of Yuuri’s off by heart and more than likely, could do it in his sleep. 

Viktor would agree that all of this was probably a little excessive but, it wasn’t everyday someone could truly surprise him and his beliefs in the art of ice skating. It was extremely uncommon to come across a blind ice skater after all. He loved the way Yuuri danced on the ice, how he could tell a story and make music with his body. He was elegance and grace, and Viktor couldn’t help but admire him completely and utterly. As the two had begun to grow and Viktor reaching the age of 22, the Russian was quick to admit that he had started to develop more than a crush on the other. 

When he was 15, Viktor had told his parents that he liked those of the same gender. He wasn’t shy to the fact that he was gay, it was quite the opposite but that didn’t stop his mother and father from continually forcing heteronormative views down his throat. They took the confession from their son better than Viktor had expected but it still wasn’t brilliant and that was to blame on their own upbringing. It was true that there were still homophobic and extremely closed-minded people where he lived and heterosexual people where always at the forefront of any type of media. This meant that in competitions the press liked to, similarly to his parents, force heteronormative views down his throat. Viktor had lost count of the times he had to tell people he didn’t have a girlfriend. Viktor wasn’t anywhere close to being a confrontational person at 15 and it meant that while he didn’t like it when people presumed his sexuality, at being so young he was taught to let it all wash over his head and not do anything to correct others.

This did change as he got older and became more sure of who he was and how he was going to show the world who he was too. And so, when people continued to ask him about his love life, Viktor was proud in finally saying and admitting that he didn’t have a girlfriend and he never would.

It was years after having followed Yuuri’s journey in becoming the first ever successful blind ice skater that he had found himself face to face with the one who he had dreamed of meeting. Of course, he knew that unless he said something, the other wouldn’t know it was him that was at his side in the moments before the Japanese boy had taken to the ice to perform his last programme in the Grand Prix Final. This competition hadn’t been kind to Yuuri and Viktor couldn’t help but ache for him. And even so, he didn’t say a word. It was strange how a person so outgoing and open as himself could not so much as utter a simple ‘good luck’ to the 23-year-old. 

After the awards that day, he tried to find Yuuri again, to tell him that even though he had lost, he couldn’t wait to see him on the ice competing next season. Viktor didn’t see Yuuri Katsuki until the banquet and his words of kindness and encouragement wouldn’t have been necessary by then.

At 27, Viktor knew that it was nearly time for him to retire from competing. Before he had competed in the recent Grand Prix, Yakov and he had been in discussion about how much longer he would stay in this field and had agreed to last maybe a couple more seasons. Viktor had then taken to daydreaming about the future of his ice skating adventure. Viktor knew that he would always find the ice as a home and he couldn’t wait until he had his own little family where they would go to the ice rink and have fun together. He would teach his children how to skate and hopefully, they too would compete like he had. 

More than a couple of times recently he had thought of Yuuri beside him when he indulged in his own little fantasies. Apart of him felt that it was wrong to do so seen as they both barely knew anything personal about the other, but the younger skater had captured his heart while on the ice and at this point Viktor believed that he would never get it back. 

It was nearly a week after the final that Viktor made one of the biggest decisions of his life and boarded a plane to Hasetsu, Japan. He wasn’t a hundred percent sure that his plan was going to work or even if it was wise at all. Nonetheless, after the memories of what Yuuri had said to him at the banquet flooded back into his mind, the hope that he was indeed doing the right thing was enough for him to follow through on his plan.

~X~

“Yuuri! I’ve come to be your coach!” Viktor watched as Makkachin knocked Yuuri backwards and proceeded to lick his face happily. 

Amused by the sight of his dog with Yuuri, Viktor walked over softly calling Makkachin to get off the confused man and leaned down closer to the person he had been waiting to see just a little over a week now. 

“Yuuri, let me help you.” Looking at his still stunned face, he reached out to take both of Yuuri’s hands to gently pull him up onto his feet. It took him a few seconds before letting go.

“I don’t understand.” The older skater watched as Yuuri’s head had turned towards Viktor as he said this. The Russian was taken aback by how accurate his sense of direction was. “You…you want to coach me?”

It took a few seconds for Viktor to really comprehend what Yuuri was asking him. Had he forgotten what had happened at the banquet? Thinking about it, he recalls just how drunk the younger had been that day and even though this hurt Viktor slightly, he knew that he couldn’t blame Yuuri at all. He made the decision at that moment to not push his questions upon him just yet, he could tell that it wouldn’t help the utterly anxious and perplexed man in front of him.

“Yes.” He breathed in a little and then smiled at the other, hoping that the blind skater would be able to hear it in his voice. “I wish to coach you, Yuuri. You’re so beautiful on the ice and I couldn’t stand it if your recent loss were to be the end for you.”

“It… it is Viktor Nikiforov right?... I don’t want to get that wrong.” After he was given an answer in confirmation, he turned his face away from then Russian “Oh…” A pink blush coated Yuuri’s cheeks as the works of kindness had fully settled in and Viktor was unable to keep from finding it adorable. Hiroko Katsuki had taken that moment to tell Viktor where he would be sleeping and then attempted shoo them both out into the dining area for their dinner. 

“We’ll be having Katsudon tonight again Yuuri, I thought that Viktor would like to try it.” Hiroko had turned back around to the stove.

“What’s Katsudon?” Yuuri faced Viktor again after replying to his mother in Japanese.

“Katsudon… It’s a pork cutlet bowl and my favourite.” His voice was soft and reserved when talking to Viktor. “I’ll lead you to the dining area.”

~X~

Katsudon was undoubtedly one of the most delicious dishes he had ever tasted and Viktor could understand how it was Yuuri’s favourite. 

In the time that the two had eaten their dinner together, Viktor had questioned Yuuri about some of his most skilled areas when it came to skating, passing it off as how it would help him become a good coach for the other. In truth, Viktor already knew where his strengths lie. After years of watching his every performance, it meant that he could notice these things. However, telling Yuuri just how much of a “fan” he was, wasn’t something he was going to confess to him. Not now at least while Makkachin was curled up into the 23-year-old’s side and a hint of confusion about the whole situation still written on the cute man’s face. 

“We can talk more about this all tomorrow if you would like Yuuri.” Viktor moved over to be closer to him and took his hand, bringing it up to his lips. “I think that we both could do with some sleep for tonight.” He kissed Yuuri’s hand softly, letting it go a second later, getting up and calling Makkachin to his side, “priyatnykh snov, Yuuri.” 

It took a while for Viktor to fall asleep that night. He was not use to sleeping on a thin mattress on the floor and it was common for him to find it difficult in joining the land of dreams when he was at a house he had never been in before.

Turning on to his side and pulling Makkachin closer to him, the Russian ice skater slowly fell asleep, dreaming of Yuuri.


	4. shi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the support so far! Please feel free to leave comments with any constructive criticism/mistakes and/or suggestions. I hope you like this chapter :) 
> 
> As always my tumblr is majikmalec
> 
> Enjoy xx

It several days since Viktor had turned up at Hasetsu and told Yuuri Katsuki that he would be his coach and so far, neither of them had set foot on the ice. When Yuuri had questioned Viktor antics the day after he had arrived the other had claimed the lack of actual coaching as a period of “getting to know his student off the ice”. At this point, Viktor hadn’t given Yuuri a full answer to the other, more important question he had: Why would Viktor Nikiforov want to coach him in the first place?

The Russian had brushed it off as him wanting to see how coaching would go for him and that Yuuri had captured his attention, but everything that had happened over the past two weeks seemed to have locked into place too smoothly. Yuuri had told his former coach Celestino that he wouldn’t be his student anymore and suddenly, the most successful ice skater of the decade had turned up to declare his wish of coaching him when he was about to retire completely.

There was a tone in Viktor’s voice when he talked about it to Yuuri, like he was hiding something from him. It was hard not being able to see his face, to judge his reactions to questions when he had been asked them and Yuuri concluded that this fact was why Viktor thought he would be off the hook from anything further suspicions. 

Despite this, his new coach had managed to somewhat keep these thoughts out of his mind for the majority of the time. It had become a thing of late-night wonderings as that was the only time that he was alone recently. Viktor had turned out to be more adventurous than Yuuri had expected and nearly every day the three of them - as neither Viktor nor Yuuri thought that keeping Makkachin at the bathhouse would be something that they could do – wondered around the town of Hasetsu visiting different places. There was also this feeling inside Yuuri that had begun to blossom and bloom from something so hidden away and deep down ever since Viktor had arrived. The younger ice skater was quick to become conscious of the fact that he loved the others company.

The adventuring at first it had been a struggle as the two of them soon realised that while this was Yuuri’s hometown, he was still blind and hadn’t been here for over 5 years. And of course, Viktor had never set foot in this place before. Yuuri wouldn’t admit it to Viktor but he felt ashamed with himself that he had lost his bearings and ultimately, the two ice skaters were lost themselves resulting in a phone call to Yuuko to come save them. Fortunately, they didn’t have to wait too long after Viktor had described his surroundings to her before she arrived with the promise of escorting them both home. On the way home, Yuuko had quickly gone into a shop to return with a map for Viktor. 

“I’ll mark off some important places for you when we get back to Yuuri’s house, that way you won’t get lost again.” There was a brief pause, “hopefully.” Viktor had laughed slightly after that and Yuuri felt his cheeks warm. He couldn’t quite tell if it was from the sound of the other man’s laugh or from his own mind putting in the idea that it was all his fault they had become lost in the first place. He did conclude however, that Viktor’s laugh was something he would like to hear more often. 

Makkachin had been very behaved on their outing, it made Yuuri miss Vicchan even more but it was nice to have the company of a dog again. Each day since the new arrivals had been there, Viktor’s dog had taken residence in Yuuri’s lap often, and despite the relatively big size of Makkachin, Yuuri felt safe, comfortable, and comforted by him. Many a time the Japanese man had nuzzled into the dog, pulling him closer for a hug and to accompany that, he had heard the soft gasps and sighs of the dog’s owner exclaiming how cute the two of them were. This then lead Yuuri to snuggle even closer to Makkachin to hide his all to obvious blush.

It was strange having someone like Viktor around his home. Yuuri wasn’t one for being too open and touchy with other people but it seemed that the Russian craved touch. He would always try and sit as close as possible to his new student, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. His way of gaining Yuuri’s attention would be to touch his arm or place his hand on his shoulder and the place was always warm for a few minutes after the hand had left.

It was half way through the first week of their stay when Viktor had asked Yuuri about the room with a picture of Yuuri cuddling a dog just like Makkachin. The older skater had come up to his bedroom one night stating that they two of them should talk, after Yuuri told him to not move anything out of place, both men and Makkachin were sat on the bed while Yuuri told him about Vicchan.

“Why didn’t you take him to Detroit with you?” sadness leaked through Viktor’s words. Yuuri could tell that the other had taken Makkachin into his arms as a way of keeping him safe while he had been talking about the late Vicchan. Even though Yuuri was still sad about the death of his own dog, he was glad that Viktor cared as much as he did about his own who was still alive. 

“I didn’t want to take him because he loved this house and my family. He was happy here, and while I knew he would miss me and I would miss him, I’m the one who is blind. I know his job was to help blind people but I also wanted to see how I would cope without him. The thought of becoming a professional ice skater was something that I had been dreaming of since I first set foot on the ice and I wanted to prove to people that just because you have a disability, doesn’t mean you can’t do things. Moving to Detroit was the best opportunity I thought I could ever have, it was something I needed to do alone thinking that I needed to prove something to myself. But now I feel terrible because I didn’t spend as much time with him as I could have and now he’s dead” Yuuri had spoken so softly at that moment and with the added silence coming from beside him, he wasn’t sure if Viktor had heard him at all. 

There was a shuffle beside him and Yuuri felt warmth encase him into a hug. It wasn’t the first-time Viktor has shown how much he liked physical affection through the act of a hug but it was the first time Yuuri had hugged him back. Viktor didn’t say anything to him after that but he didn’t need too. Yuuri could feel and understand everything that could have been said through Viktor’s embrace and it was gentle, soothing to be in his arms.

A few days after that night had passed and Viktor had finally set up his room the way he wanted it. There was now a couch and double bed as well as various other possessions that were sent from his apartment in St. Petersburg. Yuuri had grown accustomed to sitting on the couch in the Russian man’s room with Makkachin while said Russian asked him questions about how his old coach had worked around his blindness. Yuuri would hear the scrapings of a pencil on paper whenever he would give an answer and he smiled at the fact Viktor was taking it all so seriously. At this point, any ideas of Viktor’s intentions of this being a massive joke had gone out the window. 

Nonetheless, when Viktor had moved around the room to, what Yuuri assumed, put his notes away, Yuuri felt that he needed to bring back the initial question that he had from day one. 

“Why do you want to be my coach Viktor?” The question, spoken into the fur of Makkachin was still loud and clear enough for the man it was aimed at.

“I thought you would have remembered by now Yuuri” Viktor sighed and joined him on the couch, moving Makkachin to lie across the both of them. 

“Remember what?” Yuuri moved his head from where it had been buried and faced Viktor’s voice.

“You must have been more drunk then I thought you were.” Viktor laughed lightly and placed a hand over Yuuri’s. It was warm.

“Drunk… what? I don’t understand what you mean Viktor.” 

“At the banquet after the Grand Prix Final, you had quite a bit to drink, we talked and you ended up asking me to become your coach. I thought you would have remembered by the time I came here. When it became clear you didn’t when I first arrived and I then thought that maybe after a while you would finally remember and I didn’t want to push you.” Amusement was evident in his voice as he explained to Yuuri, “it seems though… you more intoxicated than I realised. I apologise for confusing you so much Yuuri.” Viktor slowly entwined their fingers together and a rush of heat seeped through Viktor’s palm all the way up to Yuuri’s face. “I couldn’t pass up on the offer of being your coach. It’s not every day a cute man comes up to you and asks you to coach them.” 

Yuuri could almost feel the smirk on the other’s face and his heartbeat quickened ever so slightly. He wasn’t use to this. He had never been in this position before, never had he even though of the possibility that he could be attracted to anyone and while it seemed strange and very much all too quick, Yuuri could not help but like the feeling.

“We’re going to start your training tomorrow, I can’t wait to see you on the ice again.” Viktor released his hand, got up but didn’t move away. “You should go to sleep now, it’s getting late and you need as much rest as you can get.” After getting up off the couch carefully so that he wouldn’t hurt Makkachin, Yuuri looked over towards Viktor and smiled.

“I’m sorry I don’t remember Viktor but I’m glad you’re here. I was thinking about retiring before you arrived but now I cannot wait to get back on the ice with you as my coach.” 

Yuuri quickly said goodnight after that, before he could give himself any change to feel stupid for confessing a part of how he felt towards the man. He didn’t want to feel stupid, not for that. When he did get into bed that night he still felt warm from Viktor’s touch and for the first time in a long time, Yuuri dreamed in colour.


	5. go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been a long time. I'm sorry!
> 
> I hope that you have all had an amazing February and beginning of march! My mind has been elsewhere recently and it has taken me a lot to really get into the mood of wanting to write. I didn't want to force myself either as I started this fanfiction because I find writing fun and enjoyable. Also because I love Yuri!!! On Ice. I didn't want to turn this into a chore or something that I felt I had an obligation of doing, and more something I wanted to do for myself... hence taking a break in fear that I would turn this into a chore. I'm so happy that this work has been getting more attention than I ever thought it would have and I just hope that if you do stick around, you wont mind if my updates are not weekly (even though they haven't been) but I will try to not make it month long breaks!!!
> 
> Anyway, as always, I hope that you enjoy this chapter. Constructive criticism, comments and suggestions are most welcome.  
> My tumblr: majikmalec 
> 
> xxx

Yuuri soon found out that Viktor was an attentive coach. A coach who liked to be close while offering advice, while helping move his arms and legs into the correct positions, while giving him praise for the progress Yuuri had made so far. It was true that Viktor like to be close to Yuuri all the time. Not for Viktor admitting it to Yuuri, but it was hard not to figure it out after spending nearly all day, every day with the Russian skater. It then became abundantly clear to Yuuri in the two and half weeks they had so far spent between the ice rink and the bathhouse that he had never wanted to be able to see someone’s face more than when it came to Viktor’s. 

There were always going to be pros and cons to being blind, and one downfall that seemed to have, quite rapidly, skated up to the top of the list was how he couldn’t experience the joy (Yuuri was sure) of Viktor’s appearance. There were times when Viktor would be close to the younger skater and he found it increasingly hard not to reach out and touch his arms or cheek. A part of Yuuri did question whether Viktor would mind that much. The Russian was certainly a man who is more comfortable when it came to being touchy with others. This didn’t stop though, the doubt and nervous thoughts that popped into his head before he stopped thinking about it altogether, moved on and put his focus back into skating.

Since that night when Yuuri had confessed to Viktor about his pervious feelings of retiring, he had been surprised to have seen colour in his dreams again. It was odd to him. It wasn’t an instant affair. Much like when he had first become blind, he continued to dream of reds, greens, all the colours in the rainbow because he had already seen them. It made sense that they didn’t go away as quickly as they did after his accident. But over time, colours and images became less frequent, boarding non-existent. The Japanese skater had become accustomed to dreams of voices, blurry objects never focusing on anything. His dreams were never nightmares or scarring to him. They were just never right. So, of course, when it had changed that night had it left Yuuri shocked and confused. Going to bed the next night he half expected and wanted it to be the same as the night before. It was almost a comfort to him that he could see something again that he hadn’t been able to for years, even when it was his unconscious mind doing it. However, he didn’t dream of anything that night and there were only glimpses of the rainbow littered in his sleep afterwards. 

The two skaters had continued there nightly talks and comfortable silences in Viktor’s room. Makkachin would often flit between the two of them supposedly indecisive about who’s lap was more comfortable to rest his head in. Yuuri had won quite a lot in the past week and he was sure that Viktor had pouted every time. 

His coach had also continued with his ever-present excitement about venturing out into the wilderness of Japan and while most of their time was dedicated to training Yuuri, every now and then the two man had taken to riding the train systems around to nearby cities and towns. For the two of them, it had been something that they were not 100% comfortably with. For Yuuri it was because… because he was blind and in unfamiliar territory and Viktor’s problem lied in the lands of: getting to excited, losing track of where they were and then getting them both lost. It didn’t take long before Viktor ended up buying more and more tourist maps from stores to then plan out trips in secret with Yuuko.

Even with the little inconveniences that seems to happen each time, Yuuri could happily say that their trips out were some of the happiest times he had experienced in recent years.

~X~

“Viktor, what colour are your eyes?”

“My eyes?” 

“Yes, your eyes. What colour are they?”

“They’re blue.” A pause, “why?”

Warm air tickled Yuuri’s face. Viktor must have turned to look at him in that moment. 

“I… just wondered.” Yuuri turned away from Viktor, hoping that the other wouldn’t notice his warming cheeks. 

They were at the beach. Makkachin was lying between them, snoring ever so slightly after being tired out from the game of fetch she had with the two skaters. Yuuri had been mindlessly stroking the poodle before remembering a dream he had the other night, and quite frequently, of bright eyes and a sweet smile. He could only believe that the eyes he had conjured up and been dreaming of belonged to Viktor.

“Yuuri…” his name was dragged out and deeply spoken by the man next to him. He felt a palm on his back and another over his hand in Makkachin’s fur. Tingles were spreading around his chest and Yuuri moved his head in the direction of Viktor voice, regretting it almost immediately after realising how close their faces must have been. “Is this your way of finally asking about my likes and dislikes as if we were on a date getting to know each other, because I don’t think it’s fair. I didn’t prepare myself.” 

Yuuri didn’t breathe for a moment, his face heating up. 

“D…date?” cringing at himself, he tried to move away again but Viktor had moved his hand away from his own and now it was gently resting on his cheek. 

There was a shift in the atmosphere at that, seconds ticked by and Viktor didn’t say anything, Yuuri to scared to utter a word but also secretly enjoying how close they were. Viktor’s thumb started rub smooth and slowly on Yuuri’s cheek as a way of filling in the silence. Suddenly, a forehead rested against his own and Yuuri could feel his heart speed up. Too quickly, Viktor had moved away entirely, and the Japanese man heard him stand up, giving a little laugh.

“Don’t worry Yuuri, we couldn’t be on a date anyway, you haven’t showered yet after our practise and you’re not exactly smelling of roses.” 

Makkachin must have sensed that they were about to leave as Yuuri felt her get up beside him. 

On their way home, even though Viktor had brushed and laughed off the date comment, the Japanese skater could tell that something must have happened between them as the older man had taken it upon himself to walk as close as he could to the other, their hands brushing constantly against each other, sending tingles up Yuuri’s arm. 

~X~

Phichit was fussing and rushing around their shared hotel room, throwing items that Yuuri imaged where clothes by the sound of their landing.

“I can’t find my tie anywhere!” Distress was evident in Phichit’s voice and for a moment, Yuuri felt bad for him until he remembered that this boy was dragging him to the banquet with him when all he wanted to do was curl up in his bed and be sad before he had to leave to get on his flight home. 

“Where did you last have it?” he tried his hardest to put some concern into his question.

“It was in the wardrobe and now it’s not there.” There was shuffling as the Thai skater moved back towards the wardrobe.

“Have you tried searching underneath it? Sometimes, things drop out and get kicked under there.”

A slight thud as Phichit dropped down to look under the wardrobe. A small sound of victory as Phichit must have found his tie. 

“Come on then, we better go and meet up with Coach Ciao Ciao.” 

The ride to the venue was short. Yuuri could hear Phichit near him take pictures once they were out of the car. A small sensation of dread filled his body as his coach ordered the two of them to come along and as they entered the room where the banquet was taking place, the 23-year-old couldn’t help but taste bile in his throat. Soon enough food and champagne saved him. 

Or not. He couldn’t remember much that followed. He only knew that the night was filled with drink, dancing, and a drunken, helpless request of being coached by a man he wasn’t too sure he knew.


End file.
